Monday, August 17, 2009

Applying One of Dossie Easton's Lessons

I have mentioned that a month ago we attended a Radical Ecstasy workshop presented by Dossie Easton. The subtext was "Tantric BDSM". As the weekend progressed, Dossie pointed out that, for her, the grouping was a little atypical. In most of her groups she finds the majority of participants are experienced Tantric practitioners who wish to learn a little about BDSM. A quick show of hands in our group, and we realised that we were a right pervy group of control freaks who needed to be given the beginners guide to energy centres.

Some of the weekend activities involved random pairings of gender, orientation and role determined only by the sequencing of two circles of people being told to rotate one step for the next exercise. I found these challenging and liberating and I will write more about them another time.

One exercise which most couples did together, with a swap and a repeat, was to introduce both shibari and trust play. I described it in an earlier post, so I wont repeat it here. But that post includes a photo of a typical chest harness on Bandree.

At Nimhneach last Saturday, I decided to try the same exercise. I will let Bandree describe it from her perspective first:

"Led by my Leader

Master Retep has asked me -well, told me - to describe my reactions when he blindfolded and restrained me and then led me about among other people a few nights ago at Nimhneach.

I had known that He was going to do this and of course i have often been tied before.

The blindfolding was much less familiar for us: i have pretty awful eyesight so i tend to feel either very insecure or very “free” when i can't see. We had experimented with this, as He described, at a Tantric/BDSM workshop a few weeks ago.

The chest harness was quite tight and the blindfold was dark and he led me confidently. Sometimes pushing, sometimes pulling, which added to the disempowerment in myself and increased my reliance on Him.

It is conventional to claim that a person deprived of one sense has heightened awareness in the others – well, i never noticed that before last Saturday. In fact usually i can't listen to the radio without my specs on!

But because my master's strong hand was guiding me, i was not scared or insecure at all: i had to trust him and to go where he directed. The sounds were on various sides like aspects of scenery – music here, dancing there, people chatting, spanking sounds and little yelps! How odd to walk through sounds like driving through a landscape!

My feet were cautious but my master murmured to me – Little step – edge of dance floor on your right – etc. And i could feel the wooden edge and the dreadfully sticky carpet – why don't the management ever clean it? I felt cool air blowing as we passed between rooms and the indefinably new acoustic of a different space, the tantalising whiff of tobacco, the feeling of “less crowded” - hard to explain, that one, especially as occasionally one would brush against my arm or jostle briefly with a murmur of apology.

Then he told me to bend over and i could feel the edge of a bench against my thighs, so i knew what was coming...

But i didn't know what he was going to use: only what it felt like. Sharp, sudden stripes of pain flashing across my behind. Again, and again. A pause, then more. I've got to admit, he handled it beautifully. What might have been frightening, or alarming, was strong but safe, sharp but not scary.

My bottom did think it recognised one implement, a short strap that is regularly used at home for ordinary discipline. And other, more severe things too – riding-crop, maybe?

I was darn glad when that bit was over, all the same - and i was led back to our table. He waited a while, talking gently to me, and then took the blindfold off, slowly. Immediately i felt that it had all ended too soon – that i could have stood a good deal more – that we had quit too early – i am often like that at the end of a session, whether “play” or real life.

Recognising this, Master Retep left me in the ropes for the rest of the evening, sometimes cuffing my wrists together too.

What were the results? It increased my trust in him, and that was good. Of course it made me hungry for more....that happens! And i think it increased his strength in himself, if you know what i mean – leading me confidently with my safety in his hands.

Was it sexy? Yes. The restraint/blindfold part was edgy, puzzling, because unfamiliar: that uneasiness added to my arousal. The spanking was extremely sexy of course! What about the “being seen in public” angle? Didn't really bother me because my attention was focussed on other things.

Did i enjoy it? Oh yes – loved it! Would i do it again, if given the choice? Oh yes, yes, please, any time!"

I was pleased with the exercise. I was acutely aware of my own responsibilities for ensuring that my charge would not trip, bang her head off objects, interfere with someone elses scene or get struck by a back flying flogger. When you are responsible for someone whose wrists are secured with limited travel and who is blindfold, you must do all their watching out as well as your own. For me, this constant attention and management was an intensly empowering masterful experience.

I definitely intend to repeat this with Bandree at the next Nimhneach and I would be prepared to consider requests from others who might be interested in the experience.


  1. I observed this scene and it was very nicely done. A lovely display of your relationship and pushing your boundaries.

    (So lovely to meet both of you!!)

  2. I also saw this, and was much in admiration of Bandree for being able to have that level of trust in you to do that in a place like Nimhneach. And I second that it was lovely to meet you both!

  3. Thanks to you both, the pleasure in the meeting was ours too. Looking forward to whenever our paths cross again, individually or together.