Sunday, June 13, 2010

Kitchen Play

Subtitled - "Why It Can Be Dangerous to Squirm"

Finding bandree in need of the application of a little correction in our kitchen, I cast around our collection of wooden stirry/slappy thingies.
B had been out shopping recently and returned with these additions.

The third one is an interesting device, able to leave a variety of sizes of white blobs outlined in red.
Anyone got any ideas what its 'nilla use may be?

However, I was looking for something a little different.
My eye fell on the nearest kitchen equivalent to a steel rule:

This is an old French Steel carving knife, repeatedly honed over the years, such that it is now very flexible. Bandree had her back turned, her elbows on the kitchen bench and her skirts hoiked up, and had no idea what I had chosen. Told to stay very still, she took five or six strokes, of the flat side of it of course, stoically, with little yelps, but no movement. On the next stroke, she squirmed as the flat of the blade impacted. Her reward, a lovely, though almost painless, reminder of the experience (I did tell you we keep it very sharp, so its an almost surgical line).

Unlike the red glow which receded within a few minutes, the thin straight line is still visible one week later. That line would have been observed by someone else recently, someone who had reason to call bandree to account for repeated lack of preparedness.

But that, as they say, is another story.....


  1. The thing with different-sized holes is a spaghetti measurer!

  2. Yes! Well spotted! Do you measure a lot of spaghetti too?

  3. No implement is better than the flat blackjack in form of a small paddle, with some heavy metal or led sewed inside. Each stroke raises a black area, without intolerable pain. The sound of each stroke is deafening. And the memory lasts for weeks.