Last night was our second visit to Nimhneach. Seconds of anything are always quite different from first times. The awe, surprise and shock value of the whole big thing was replaced by a greater interest in the smaller details - who do I recognise from before, whose writing have I read on line, why am I here and what do I want to get out of it?
B had initial concerns that the look we had chosen for her was inappropriate and silly. Thankfully, that was disproved with three separate unsolicited complementary remarks in the first twenty minutes. Her selfmade open crotch period bloomers were particularly praised for the interchangeable ribbons round the ends of the legs, a detail allowing choices of colour for different occasions. I was also pleased with the lace trim detail she had spent the afternoon applying to her outer petticoat.
For me, a significant issue was resolving the dillema of whether my role at Nimhneah is that of an escorting domestic discipline top for B, or as a more generally available Dom. In truth, I knew even before I went, that I was going to feel disappointed, and probably something of a failure, if I went home from this trip without having explored my dominant persona with someone else in addition to my B.
That someone else turned out to be Caroline. It would be presumptuous of me to speculate what it was like for her, and anyway, she is vastly more experienced than I, and by her standards, I would imagine it was a brief and mild encounter. For me, however, the surprises were in the powerful impact of small details. It wasn't the application of flogger or birch, but rather her offer to remove her shirt and accepting my offer of help in undoing the buttons. I found myself focusing much more authority into my left hand in the small of her back than my right, the one swinging the tawse. Tucking the hem of her skirt into the waistband of her knickers was, inevitably, a shared intimacy but her standing quite still after we had finished, whilst I publically replaced and buttoned her shirt was, for me, the defining moment of authority, coming to public play, as I do, from a DD background which isn't really about play at all, but about obedience.
All I can say is thank you sincerely for helping me explore these details of my persona and letting me leave that night with my self confidence intact.